Fresh Hot Joke: Birdman of Alcatraz Edition

Q: What shouldn't the Birdman of Alcatraz's first grade English teacher have said to him one day?

A: "Use 'bird' in a sentence."

This has been another edition of "Fresh Hot Jokes." You are welcome.

P.S. Bird, man.

Tea Party Rep Had Multiple Affairs, Urged Girlfriend to Have Two Abortions

I wrote this and rewrote this too many times now. I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of this.

Here's the link: Yay, Tea Party. Yay, family values. Yay, USA.

Romney Blames Obama's Win on Good Governance

Look at this:

“You can imagine for somebody making $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year, being told you’re now going to get free health care, particularly if you don’t have it, getting free health care worth, what, $10,000 per family, in perpetuity, I mean, this is huge,” he said.

This, in Mitt Romney's view, is a bad thing. A bad thing Obama did to get non-wealthy people to vote for him. Those people, if everything was right and pure and Jesusy in the world, should be left to avoid doctors and preventative care, to pray that they and their family members don't suffer injury or illness, and if they do - well too damn bad, losers, should have been born rich like Romney.

God I hate this shit.

And by the way, asshole - Obamacare didn't make health care free for "somebody making $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year." It made it affordable. It made it possible for people much less well off than you, people who actually live paycheck to meager paycheck, to actually get health care for themselves and their children—in a lot of cases for the very first time. And you're an asshole.

"There's something wrong with me. Please love me."

Image from here.

Tiny Dragon in My Wine Glass

I left a glass with a tiny bit of wine on the veranda table two nights ago, yesterday morning waking to this:

That is a beautiful little creature.

Update: It looks to be a type of mantis fly. Order Neuroptera. More here.

Texas Judge Caught on Video Viciously Whipping His Disabled Daugher With a Belt - Back on the Bench

This makes me truly sick to my stomach:

The Texas Supreme Court on Tuesday lifted the suspension of an Aransas County judge who was caught on video beating his 16-year-old disabled daughter.

Judge William Adams was suspended with pay last year while the State Commission on Judicial Conduct investigated the allegations against him. In September, the commission issued a public warning, stating that Adams conduct discredited the judiciary because he had regularly presided over child custody, child abuse, and family violence cases. He will no longer preside over some cases brought by the Texas Department of Family and Protective services. 

WARNING: This is very hard to watch. It is not a "spanking." This is nothing less than a prolonged and vicious beating of a 16-year-old girl (with cerebral palsy). In the midst of giving the screaming girl a savage beating he repeatedly screams obscenities at her, including "Lay down or I'm spanking your fucking face." Again: NOT A SPANKING. William Adams should be in federal prison.* Instead, the very conservative Texas Supreme Court just made him a judge again.

The mother joins him in beating her, too. I could barely make it that far in.


 * I'm just reading that the statute of limitations prevented Adams from being charged by the time the daughter posted the video.

Update November 12: Judge will officially resume duties this week.

Pics & Video: Dirty Glass, Water, Fan, Rose

Continuing this theme.

The Indian Clucking Purple Pig-Nosed Frog

Not its real name, but could be:

 

Christine's Clouds

Christine caught a school of cloudfish going by from the balcony...

Anti-Obama Group Uses Photo of British Soldiers to Distort Obama's "Bayonets" Remark

This is hilarious.

A Tea Party group already has thousands of likes and shares on FaceBook for this image in response to President Obama's remarks about bayonets at tonight's final debate with Mitt Romney:

Trickle-Down Citizenship

Imagine this scenario: 

• Candidate Bob Ginkel runs for president saying, "All big business owners get a million dollars of taxpayer money every year! For nothing!"

• You, like millions of other Americans, work for a big business.

• The owner says to you, "You've gotta vote for Ginkel. And you've got to donate money to him too. Or I'm going to fire you."

• You've got kids to feed. A mortgage. Jobs are scarce.

• What are you going to do?

What are they going to do?

Paul Ryan's WWI Navy Comment [update]

Did you notice that Paul Ryan said during his debate with Vice President Biden last night that because of Obama's military-hatin' ways our navy is on its way to being smaller than it was during World War One? Based on the number of ships?

Does Paul Ryan know that one of our current navy ships—a submarine especially—could obliterate our entire WWI navy - along with the rest of the world's WWI navies, every last ship - without anyone ever even knowing what it was that had hit them?

Here's a really neat graphic that Congressman Ryan might appreciate, showing what you can find inside a modern submarine - and this is actually already an old one:

Is it too much to ask that this kind of stupid get called out by his own party? It really shouldn't be.

Update: Hey! The president reads my blog!

"You mentioned the navy, for example, and that we have fewer ships than we did in 1916. Well, governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets because the nature of our military's changed," [Obama] said to laughter from the audience. 

"We have these things called aircraft carriers where planes land on them. We have these ships that go underwater, nuclear submarines," he continued. 

"So the question is not a game of Battleship where we're counting ships. It's: "What are our capabilities?"