17 Things That I Don't The Tiniest Bit Mind Being Legally Prohibited From Owning

1. Sarin gas
2. Anthrax
3. A rocket launcher
4. An adult blue whale
5. Cufflinks made from highly enriched uranium
6. A smartphone app that makes bicycles and bicyclists explode remotely
7. A nuclear submarine
8. Israel
9. Human slaves
10. An exploding front lawn
11. One metric ton of methamphetamine
12. Any amount of methamphetamine
13. A living person's thigh 
14. A CD of the music my 18-year-old neighbor plays (I wish)
15. Dolly Parton
16. An Easter Island head (okay, I sorta do mind that one)
17. A Bushmaster .223 semi-automatic rifle (I live in Australia)