Romney-Ryan Propose "American Independence Vouchers"

WASHINGTON - Mitt Romney and running mate Paul Ryan today released the outlines of a proposal that they say will bring a "permanent end" to the country's "crippling" spending and debt problems. The proposal calls for a major overhaul of the Independence Entitlement Program, first formulated in 1776.

The plan entails inviting the British government to send military units to invade and ravage American cities.

"They can kill old people," Mr. Romney said. "They can take the homes, the fortunes of sick people, whatever they like. And the American people can fight for their own independence. Thats how we used to do things, before the costly and nation-killing Independence Entitlement Program began."

Asked about critics' concerns that the plan ended American independence as we know it, Romney's vice-presidential candidate stepped up to the podium.

"Don't believe the lies," Mr. Ryan said. "This plan does not end independence, it improves it. Under this plan every American would get an 'American Independence Voucher,' which will entitle them to complete independence from the British. Not forever—for a while. We can't keep trying to take care of our citizens' independence forever. We're not Europe."

The plan was met with positive reviews by most in the media, with several pundits calling it "very courageous."