Chief Justice John Roberts Admits to Killing Vince Foster

WASHINGTON - The day after finding the U.S. Constitution un-constitutional in his shock ruling upholding President Barack Obama's economy-crippling ObamaCare legislation, Chief Justice John Roberts admitted to murdering Clinton White House counsel Vince Foster.

As most Americans know, in 1993 then First Lady Hillary Clinton ordered the murder of Foster, a childhood friend of Bill Clinton and one-time law partner of the First Lady, after he threatened to expose the Clintons' child prostitution and cocaine smuggling operation, which was run out of the Clinton Oval Office. Foster's body was found on July 20, 1993, in a Virginia park. The murder was ruled by a "suicide" by a Clinton-controlled coroner.

What most Americans didn't know until today was that it was Chief Justice Roberts, then a powerful Washington, D.C., attorney - with a taste for underage prostitutes and cocaine - who carried out the murder.

Roberts, who as Chief Justice has diplomatic immunity from all U.S. laws (not unlike United Nations personnel), and therefore cannot be prosecuted for the murder, brazenly admitted to the crime while eating at an elite D.C. restaurant. His dinner guests, which included now Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, First Lady Michelle Obama, filmmaker Michael Moore, and several of the country's most prominent journalists,  erupted in cheers when Roberts revealed his secret.

"Now that we have made socialism permanent in America," Roberts said to the group, "I don't have to pretend anymore. Thank God George Bush was dumb enough to nominate me for chief justice!" he added. "What a dumbass!"

Photo credit.